If it doesn't fit in the overhead compartment, you're going to have to check that, ma'am

I've been finding lately that friends of mine, when making the journey into relationshiphood, have been looking over an important factor when preparing for their trip: they often forget to do a basic GBA, or General Baggage Assessment. Determining someone GBA can be a helpful tool in determining how your relationship is going to turn out.

To aid you on your journey, I'm going to share a patented, scientific tool I developed some years back in assessing a potential relationship's baggage level.

GBA - General Baggage Assessment

1) Start with the number of long-term relationships the person has had
2) Multiply that number by the cumulative number of years the person has spent in serious relationships
3) Divide by two to account for recovery period
4) Factor in any "special circumstances" using the scale below:
- If dumped from most recent relationship over one year: Multiply by 2
- If the person immediately afterwards remained friends with their ex: Add 3
- If the relationship ended due to a death: Multiply by 5
- If the person received therapy after the relationship ended, had a rebound relationship, extracted a measure of revenge on their ex, or received other assistance in recovering: Subtract 3 for each form of help
5) Lastly, subtract the number of years since the person's last long-term relationship

The number remaining is a person's GBA.

Interpreting the score:
Negative number: No baggage, no opportunity to earn it (aka - day tripper with only a briefcase). Fear of comittment issues galore, general lack of relationship experience. Often a relationship is the furthest thing from their mind.

Between 1-5: Small amount of baggage (aka carry on luggage and a personal item only). You can safely enter the relationship without worries or fear. The person is generally well adjusted and ready to move on.

Between 6-10: Average load (aka carry on and one piece of checked luggage) - This person has the average load of baggage. They've been in long-term relationships before and know the score, but have generally recovered. They may have their touchy points left over, or certain songs they prefer not to listen to, but they're generally safe and don't let these issues rear their heads too often.

11+: Lots of baggage (aka steamertrunk) - This person is not ready for a relationship, and may or may not know it. They may exhibit highly unstable tendencies such as calling at 2 AM to make sure you haven't picked up and moved to Detroit without phoning, or starting to cry in the middle of a restaurant because it reminds him/her of a similar restaurant he/she once went to with the ex, four days before their two month anniversary.

And remember, it's not about necessarily about finding the person with the lowest score, it's about finding someone in the same category. No one want to lug around someone else's excess baggage.