Juice me up for the ball game

I'm glad to know that while the government is running out of money for social security and is underpaying troops who's tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan keep getting lengthened, at least they're putting valuable time and money into things that matter, such as investigating steroid use in baseball.

Is steroid use in professional sports really such a big deal that we need to have congressional hearings on the topic? Do we really need to ask Jose Canseco, a man with a body the size of a house and a head the size of a pin if he used steroids? Please, even I can answer that one for you. Of course he is.

Personally, I'm lobbying for more steroid use in baseball. It makes the game more interesting. Do you think Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa's home run race would have been as exciting if they hadn't been on the juice? There's no way either of those guys would have been as successful without a little injection every now and then. That's why I think steroid use shouldn't just be legal in sports, it should be mandatory. Just imagine how great the game would be when every player is a power-hitter. Are you worried about the message it might send to kids? I'm not, I think it says "you can reach your dreams, sometimes it just takes a little something extra."