In the land of the giants
My friends who know me well are quite aware that I live my life by the five-five rule.
Basically, I like to be the tall one in the relationship, so I only date girls who are shorter than I am -- no one taller than 5'5".
However if a lady is particularly cute, I have been known to make the five-six exception to the five-five rule. A few years back, I met a particularly attractive lady and made the five-eight exception to the five-six exception to the five-five rule.
And I'm sure that it's because I'm so damn insistent not to stand on my toes when I kiss someone, karma has recently decided that I should only attract girls who are 5'10" and up. It's like somehow I've begun dating in the land of the giants. Let me tell you, it's hard to feel like the dominant, alpha male when you have to stand on a chair to help your date put her coat on because she's 6'7" and likes to wear four-inch heels.
On the plus side, for the first time I have help to get things off of the highest shelves in my apartment. I actually see that as the purpose of bringing recent dates back to my place -- it has nothing to do with trying to get lucky, it's about trying to reach a glass, change a light bulb or clean the tops of the windows.
When I explained my predicament to my 5' tall mother, she didn't see it as a problem at all. She was actually thrilled. Her response was "marry her! Think about the wonders she can do for our gene pool."
And people wonder why guys are commitment phobic.
Basically, I like to be the tall one in the relationship, so I only date girls who are shorter than I am -- no one taller than 5'5".
However if a lady is particularly cute, I have been known to make the five-six exception to the five-five rule. A few years back, I met a particularly attractive lady and made the five-eight exception to the five-six exception to the five-five rule.
And I'm sure that it's because I'm so damn insistent not to stand on my toes when I kiss someone, karma has recently decided that I should only attract girls who are 5'10" and up. It's like somehow I've begun dating in the land of the giants. Let me tell you, it's hard to feel like the dominant, alpha male when you have to stand on a chair to help your date put her coat on because she's 6'7" and likes to wear four-inch heels.
On the plus side, for the first time I have help to get things off of the highest shelves in my apartment. I actually see that as the purpose of bringing recent dates back to my place -- it has nothing to do with trying to get lucky, it's about trying to reach a glass, change a light bulb or clean the tops of the windows.
When I explained my predicament to my 5' tall mother, she didn't see it as a problem at all. She was actually thrilled. Her response was "marry her! Think about the wonders she can do for our gene pool."
And people wonder why guys are commitment phobic.
posted by Kevin at
11:13 AM
1 Comments:
Speaking as a 5'4-1/2" woman...learn to embrace the power of stairs. I used to date a guy who was 6'4" and I learned that neither of us needed to experience discomfort so long as I stood on a step...or two. Just a suggestion.
Once, I danced with a man who was 6'11" tall. There is nothing in this life which is so disconcerting as looking up at the underside of someone's chin.
By
canadian sadie, at 7:08 PM
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