What I do after a night of partying

Last summer my friend Brad, the opera singer, was leaving New York to perform in Rome for the summer. To celebrate an occasion of such magnitude, we did what any group of twenty-something guys would do: we threw a party at a local bar.

On top of the cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon (because, yes, we are that classy) we ordered drinks with names like “Garbage Can,” “Irish Car Bomb” and “Swamp Water.” Many of these came in containers like fishbowls or actual garbage cans, and often contained multiple straws and were passed around the party. Some were even lit on fire before handed to us – which is always such a good idea – handing open flames to drunken people. Needless to say no one can agree on how or when the evening ended.

When I awoke the next morning, in the clothing I had gone out wearing and rather hung-over, I made my way into the living room to check my email. That’s where I found my cousin, who was not at the party, asleep on my couch. Trying to be quiet I logged onto my computer, and that’s when I found it – a receipt from Amazon.com. Apparently, when I came home, I decided that, in my drunken sleepy state, and despite my cousin asleep three feet from the computer, that my life was missing a Foreman Grill. And I had to order it then and there. I guess it could be worse when out drinking: some people get into fights, some go home with strangers. Me? I shop.

In my own defense, its still one of the best purchases I’ve ever made.