Okay already, here are my friggin’ new year’s resolutions

So, since everyone has been asking me what my new year’s resolutions are starting before New Year’s Eve, here they are for the whole world to see.

Kevin’s Resolutions for 2005

• Use more nicknames (because everyone loves having a nickname)
• Stop shaving drunk
• Get back into stand-up comedy, even if it is for just one more appearance
• Stop biting my finger nails (I know, this is a repeat from last year, but I fell off the wagon around March…)
• Figure out what the hell to do with my life (suggestions welcomed)
• Get back into really good shape, including, but not limited to, getting back the six-pack I used to have just a few short months ago
• Stop worrying about the small stuff
• Obtain a decent work-life balance
• Learn how to cook (more than just using my foreman grill)
• Stop ordering things off of infomercials, no matter how much of a good idea it seemed like at 4:00 AM

I feel like this is a good mix of easy, moderate and fairly difficult things to accomplish over the year. As always, feel free let me know if you have any suggestions as to things I may have overlooked, or any hints/tips/suggestions you can offer to get any of these things actually accomplished. Seeing that I’m actually biting my nails while I’m writing this, I think I have a long year ahead of me…