You look beautiful in that dress and the sequins really bring out your eyes

The other day my friend Audrey conned-- er, convinced me into going wedding dress shopping with her. Guys, if you are ever asked to go and provide "the male perspective" for one of your female friends, do it. Don't hesitate. In fact, know any women getting married at? Call them right now and volunteer your services.

Yes, I know that a day dress shopping sounds like Dante's 12th circle of hell, and that to us guys all wedding dresses look the same, but this is worth it. Why? Brides-to-be bring with them a gaggle of bridesmaids who all have wedding fever, which is enough incentive to learn to tell dresses apart. It's like Wedding Crashers with none of the competition. In fact, the guy running the shop gave me a huge wink as I walked into the shop -- I thought it was because I was now “in the know” on this secret, but when he tried to slip me his number on the way out, I realized otherwise.

Which leads me to one note for the guys -- you'll pretty much need to spend the first 10-15 minutes publicly announcing that you aren't gay for the women to look at you in the first place. But drop a few lines about how much "your ex would have loved a dress like that" or how your ex's taste "was way too gaudy to appreciate that nice, simple Vera Wang" and suddenly you'll be providing the male opinion to every other bride-to-be in the shop while her bridesmaids praise you on your views, flirtatiously muss up your hair and eat your opinions up like you're the last eligible bachelor in all of New York City.

I even have a new routine with Audrey. I'm willing to head out dress shopping with her on a whim with just a moment's notice, and in exchange she spends the first few minutes talking loudly about how I just keep dating all the wrong women, and how "a nice guy" like me, "just needs to find the right girl."