Dating is like dancing – Volume II

I want to revise something I said earlier when I equated dating to a well choreographed dance - I no longer think guys and girls are even dancing to the same song.

This weekend, I introduced two friends of mine to one another. For those who don’t know, I enjoy playing Cupid much more than I should. You’d think I would have learned my lesson by now, but no such luck. So I introduce my two friends at an after work gathering. At first it seemed to go well - they started talking almost immediately, so I fell back a little bit and enjoyed a pint with some of my other friends, looking back occasionally to monitor their body language. All seemed to be going ok. About 15 minutes in, my friend, we’ll call her Sara, leans into me and whispers, "I don’t think I really like your friend Dan."

Ok. I process the information and go back to my conversation. About two minutes later I feel Dan grasp my arm. I turn around and he whispers to me, "Dude, Sara is totally digging me."

Now, I’m a little confused, but I often mishear things in loud places, so I’m giving myself the benefit of the doubt that these two friends haven’t just given me conflicting stories. Looking back again, Sara and Dan are still chatting, appear to be leaning into each other and smiling. All seems ok. Figuring I’ll hear more from each of them later, I go back to my conversation. About ten minutes later, on her way to the bathroom, Sara whispers into my ear and says, "Nope, I’m pretty sure. I really don’t like Dan."

The moment she leaves, Dan comes over, and popping a Listerine strip into his mouth says, "Oh, it is so on with Sara."

We’re all dancing, but it sure as hell isn’t to the same song.

Sadly, this isn’t the only example of miscommunication. Ever been out with someone where one person thinks they're on a date and the other doesn't? That's either awkward or expensive (or both), depending which side you're on. If you're out with someone and you suddenly realize that they think you're on a date, do what I do, apply The Rule of Five. Drop five F-Bombs ("it's so nice to have a friend" "it's it great to have friends you can (blah blah blah) with..." etc...) in a concentrated period and generally people start to get the idea.

Ladies, I think I need to put the blame on us guys. I think we just don’t know how to read your signs anymore. Now, I’m not looking for a flair gun and signal flags, but please, do us a favor, if you like a guy - or don’t like a guy, let us know. Seriously, we have no idea. I’ve been in long-term relationships with women that I'm still not sure if they liked me or not. Not only will we appreciate it, but it will save you many long calls on the phone with your closest girlfriends dissecting the conversation over and over again, trying to figure out where things went wrong.