I’m not a fan of going to the doctor

I think a big part of it is the rather personal questions they ask you, especially when it comes to sexual history. I think the first time I was asked by a doctor how many sexual partners I had, I may have tried to be macho and exaggerated the total, because when I went back a couple of years later, and was asked the question again, the doctor gave me a curious look and asked how the number had gone down.

I’m also the kind of person who feels need to explain - you know, put certain things into context. So when I go, and they ask me about partners, I find myself going into long explanations, sometimes requiring me to draw charts and diagrams. When the doctor asks if a partner was new or someone I had been with before, it’s like, "well… okay. Do you remember the girl I had broken up with last time I saw you…?" "You got back together?" "Well… not exactly…" And suddenly I’m making excuses and feeling very guilty about things that I hadn’t previously. Ever try and explain a one-time thing to a doctor? I haven’t. I switched physicians instead.

Half the time I get questions on my sexual history I feel like Bill Clinton -- I’m asking my doctor to define "sexual partner." I’m giving him various ranges depending on his meaning that only seem to make the matter worse.

My favorites are the open ended questions I don’t even understand the fist time around, so I feel the need to make up answers.

Doctor: "And your sexual partners were all…"

Kevin: "Circus performers?"

Doctor: "Women?"

I recently went to a new doctor I had never been to before. Trying to be more health conscious and give him a complete and accurate medical history, I mentally prepared. When I got there, I volunteered the information. I wanted to be the health conscious guy who left nothing out, so I gave him the complete picture. Perhaps I gave him a little more info than he wanted, because it seemed to make my doctor very confused, and even a little uncomfortable, which left me wondering, do you not need to give your sexual history to your dentist?