Another sign you may have a little too much stress in your life

You look in the fridge for breakfast, see an open bottle of wine and, for a fleeting second, having a glass seems like a good idea.

Jet lag

Every time I return from a trip overseas, I have great plans of what I'm going to do with the jet lag:

• I'll start going to the gym in the mornings again
• I'll balance my checkbook
• I'll get into the office early and clean my desk

So how is it that instead I find myself sitting on my couch, spacing out and somehow manage to actually get to work late?

Taking the battle of the sexes into the showers

I've come to yet another realization that men are much simpler creatures than women. That fundamental difference is obvious when you examine our showers.

If you've even been in a typical guy's shower, you'll notice that we have only two items: a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo (or a bottle of 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner if the guy considers himself a renaissance man). And those products usually sport the brand name of the drugstore the items were purchased in.

On the other hand, showering in a girl's bathroom is a lot like bathing at CVS. She usually has a variety of soaps, body washes, shampoos and conditioners (and never the two in a single bottle, mind you) to choose from. To be honest, I don't even know what the difference is between "soap" and "body wash" but somehow women are in on this little secret.

The guy's shampoo has phrases on it like "30% bigger bottle," "half-price with a club card" or "now with natural gasoline scent." The woman's shampoo says things like "volumizing" "for more bounce and extra shine" or "gives you natural curls" -- which is in itself a paradox.

Every girl who's house I've showered at must think that I take ages in the bath, which is quite the misconception. At home, I can get in and out in 3 minutes (and because I'm a guy that includes brushing my teeth) but at her house I'm in excess of 20. Its because I'm so overwhelmed by all the products that I need to try everything before I decide on what I'm going to actually use.

Disconcerting things to overhear in Bangkok

"Uh, Kev, that girl you're talking to is actually a dude."

Never before have I been to a place where you check out girls by looking for an Adams Apple.

How to make a British Airways flight attendant stare at you...

Ask him what an English Breakfast consists of. He'll look at you like you have two heads. Trust me, I know.

There's nothing to make you feel older...

Than hearing a song from your "wild" teenage nights being played on the oldies station.

Then again, there's nothing to make you feel lamer than hearing a sond from your "wild" teenage nights being played on "light-FM".