Kev's guide to understanding guys (vol XVII)

Pre-booty call (verb) - The act of pre-arranging a booty call. Often by calling or texting much earlier in evening to see "if [someone] might be around 'later' that evening"

Kev's guide to understanding guys (vol XVI)

No, Mom, I'm not sick, I'm just working on my Kermit the Frog impression

Guys,

If you find yourself staying home from work because you're sick, and your mother should happen to call, I'd highly advise lying and saying you're just taking the day off to relax. Otherwise, if your mom is anything like mine, she'll be so worried about your cold that she'll call you 30 times during the day and not let you get the rest you need, requiring you to take yet another day off from work.

Save the date

Yet another reason why I'll never be getting married. My bride-to-be would have to agree to letting me put together a save the date like this one...

Amazon searches

I love Amazon.com, but I can't understand why it recommends the following books to me when I search for "Rugby for Dummies"

• European History for Dummies (ok, this one makes a little sense)
• The Romans for Dummies (did the Romans invent rugby?)
  
• Personal Development for Dummies (I guess learning the rules of rugby could be seen as "personal development," but it's a bit of a stretch)
• DJing for Dummies (huh?)
• Managing PCOS for Dummies (I think, and I could be wrong, that PCOS is a computer programming language. Maybe they think after I learn about rugby that I'll develop software to help me play.)
  

And my personal favorite...

• Pregnancy for Dummies (I have no idea what rugby and pregnancy have in common. Maybe if I read both of these books I'll find out)

Taking the next step

The other day it hit me. I'm nearing 30, and not getting any younger. So I decided to take a big leap of faith and make the next step on the commitment scale.

That's right, I bought a fish.