Good idea, bad execution

While your girlfriend might enjoy knowing that you think of her when you hear the song that was playing when you met, never say "I think of you every time I hear 'Gold Digger.'"

The new definition of dedication

I've discovered the new definition of dedication. It's waking up and deciding to go on a 3 mile run after a night of heavy drinking and only stopping to puke twice along the way.

Think I can get that printed on a motivational poster to hang in my office?

More questions that make up my day

Today I bought a bag of pretzels from the vending machine at work, and when I went to open them, I noticed some printing on the bag that noted they had expired on July 3rd. This led me to wonder, do pretzels really expire? What happens when they go bad? Do they loose that pretzel flavor? What do stale pretzels taste like? What is a pretzel's average shelf life, and do grocers need to check pretzels the way they check milk? Do bad pretzels make you sick like milk or just taste gross like bad juice?

Then I realized, this is a perfect example of the kinds of questions that preoccupy the guy mind (not the male mind, but the guy mind). If we put half as much thought into the women we're seeing as we do into pretzels and chips, then ladies, perhaps we'd actually remember things like where we first went to dinner with you, to bring flowers for no reason whatsoever and perhaps even your birthdays... but don't hold me to that. I'd put even more thought into what else we'd be able to accomplish, but I have some pretzel research to conduct.

Kev's guide to understanding guys (vol XIII)

Long Distance Booty Call (LDBC) (noun) - The act of traveling out of town/overseas for a booty call. If you live in New York City, add any booty call that involves taking the F train.

Kev's guide to understanding guys (vol XII)

Another Kevin PSA

Next time you have a lady-friend over, and she screams out, "say my name," realize that this isn't the opportunity to test out a creative nick-name that she hasn't heard before. If she thinks it belongs to another lady-friend, you may end up with a black-eye and your evening ending early.

Uh, or so I've heard.